Just like a bottle filled up with water, which can be knocked down easily, I was massed up at the beginning of this week. However, I admitted my weaknesses because of the setback, and I got a chance to reflect my former behaviors as well as my mentality. So…
What are my weaknesses?
The most obvious one is my communication style.
When I was discussing ideas or plans about projects or outstanding questions with others, I tended to insist my opinions in aggressive ways: raising my voice volume, speeding up my pace, letting anxieties appear on my facial expressions and using “but” to combat others’ plans frequently. When I recalled my memories about these conversations, I felt that I was the witness of these “conversation wars”, where no negotiations happened but only win and lose. I was the warrior. I was defeated when my proposals were turned down, and then looked down upon myself, questioned my ability, sank into negative emotions for a long time before I could get back to my feet. What’s more, I often complained about myself, “Daisy, you spent XX days to overcome this defeat, you have to recover sooner!!!”
Although I tried to change my aggressive conversation style, propose a better plan and strengthen my resilience，I was still a fighter in the “war”. I seemed to be more easygoing but I was struggled with stress, disappointment or even anger.
“This was not the conversation I want and communications should not be like this. But…” I kept asking myself, “But what does communication mean?”
What is communication? How can I achieve an effective conversation?
Although I took communication course, learned principles and techniches that can be applied for conversations, I am still a green hand in this field. Now, I myself cannot give an definition or explaintion on this question but I learned from my previous experiences that communication is not a skin-deep battle with other communicators. One of the premise of an effective conversation might be realizing my own characteristics and mentalities. If my current mindsets block my way toward becoming a better communicator, I should fix them step by step instead of criticizing then pushing myself irrationally.
This blog post will be updated once I learned valuable ideas from my own experiences or others guidance. And I hope you can harvest what you are expected by reading this blog post.
Also, I believe that ” Ideas-Actions=S**T “. Thus, I created a action post to encourage myself to communicate with others and learn from my successes and failures.